Brits are known for their aversion to talking about money. It seems crass. Yet we all make assumptions about others, how much they earn, how they spend their money – how can THEY afford that car?! 

And when it comes to debt, we’re even more averse to talking about it.  

Over the years I’ve conducted research with a number of people who have hidden debt from their partner or family.  The telephone interview a lady arranged for a time when her husband wasn’t around as he didn’t know she had the credit card we would be discussing. The family man who believed his parents would be mortified if they ever found out about his debts.  

What additional stress does this place on relationships if we’re trying to keep both our behaviour and our emotions hidden?  

There may be feelings of guilt, embarrassment, failure. We may feel that we’ve done something wrong, that we’ve made bad choices, or done something ‘stupid’.   

Or sometimes things just happen.  The washing machine breaks down when you have a baby with a stomach bug. You have to buy a new one, and NOW! Without the money to buy it outright the cost increases, debts can spiral. 

Why can’t we share these things with those closest to us? And what impact does it have on our mental health if we can’t share our worries? 

With increasing pressure on people’s household finances, surely now is the time to change this?